My head got really noisy. I couldn’t breath properly . There are thousand things in my head, but I can’t name one of them. As if my outside world is matching my inner world, I became very sensitive to the noise in my surrounding. It seems as though finding a silence is impossible for me. On the other hand, I am scared to find that silence in me, as if , if I stop thinking and promote this noisiness in my head, I would die. I am holding on to this nosiness so tightly , so that there will be no silence. It is very confusing.
my deepest desire is to give up thinking about all those things that I am thinking and worrying right now, and just go to that silence place inside of me. Just be with myself and enjoy this silence. But I dont know how to do it. The path to my inner silence is invisible to me. The more i search for it, the more I get frustrated and the more thoughts are coming.
I am craving for silence!